Sunday kicked off training season for my fall / winter
races. Post triathlon, I took two weeks
off from doing any serious exercise besides lifting some weights and biking a
little. I’ve been psyching myself up
mentally for this since the first of July.
I have some race goals to attend to.
:)
In the late summer / fall of 2012 I began training for the Disney
Princess Half Marathon. For all of my
friends that have said, “I won’t run unless something is chasing me,” believe
me when I say that I never dreamed that I would be able to (let alone want to)
run a half marathon. I figured it was a
vacation to Disney World with my family and friends, and if I was going to
grind my body for 3 hours it might as well be at a race that would have a
positive, fun atmosphere. Throughout the
4 months of training I would pray on and off about running and I asked God to
bless my training and race to His glory.
I had lots and lots of support from friends and family and I often would
listen to nothing but worship music on my long runs. Training, race, whole deal was an amazing
experience. Y’all should try it.
In preparation for my upcoming races I started to reflect on
what I wanted to do differently…if anything.
One thing was to have a routine and be diligent in sticking to it rather
than trying to guess or squeeze in what time of day I needed to run / workout. Suddenly I was convicted about another area
of my life that I needed to have a routine and be more diligent on… my daily
time with God. It occurred to me that I
had been asking for blessings on my run training when I was being very
negligent and inconsistent on my life training...praying, reading, and seeking
His face. Classic…Lendy putting the cart
before the horse. Needless to say I’m
trying to turn this oversight around. I
started a new study this week through an online community called
#shereadstruth. (I’ll talk about it more
in my next blog.)
Even though it’s only been a few days I can already tell
that my life training is improving my run training. I stopped listening to music during my
shorter runs and I found that I keep a steadier pace. It gives me time to
pray, think, and reflect about God, the day ahead, my life, my loves, etc. Sunday and today 2 verses of scripture
consistently ran through my mind. “Enter
by the narrow gate for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to
destruction, and there are many that who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is
the way which leads to life and there are few who find it,” Matthew 7:13-14. My training runs cover a few decent hills
especially during the last mile. On
Sunday I was tempted to turn down a side street that sloped downhill and was
relatively flat, or finish uphill and be closer to my house at the end of the
run. Today my left thigh was burning and
I had the option of finishing my run or walking ½ a mile up a hill to finish my
distance. Both runs I was presented with
options to take an easier path, but I knew I would benefit more if I stayed
strong, “…and ran the race before me.”
On both runs God was using very literal and tangible examples
to illustrate a much deeper lesson about my recent behavior. Judging by my thoughts and comments I’ve heard from
others I would say I’ve been not just on the broad path, but the fast track to self-destruction. Running up the last hill on Sunday I kept
thinking about how simple it is to fall into a pattern of negative behavior,
and not only fall into it but begin to feel comfortable with it. Here are some of the questions / lies I’ve
toyed with in the last month or so. They
don’t make much sense to me now as I type them out but regardless.
- How easy is it to stand back and say nothing or simply agree when someone says bad things about someone else versus changing the subject?
- How much power do you feel when you share other people’s business and pass judgment on their decisions? How much easier would it be to counsel or encourage them?
- Everything should happen RIGHT NOW instead of in its appropriate time.
- I’ll misread people’s words or intentions, have hurt feelings, and build and cement an emotional wall quicker than you can find Waldo.
- Vulnerable…please…ain’t nobody got time for that.
- I won’t ever be anything but mediocre.
- I can’t forgive myself for the way I feel and things that happened in the past. How can God ever forgive me for that?
The world would like us to believe that we aren’t meant to
trust or love others. We should judge
others because let’s be real…we are soooo self-righteous, and everyone should
be totally 100% independent. My devotional this morning said, “Let’s
stop. Let’s put down our DIY efforts of
self-salvation and run to the foot of the cross.” I know I’m not unique in my
struggles or life lessons. Everyone has
comfortable pet issues that they keep around just because. How much more difficult is it for those of us
that are believers to find the strength to carry all of this negative weight
versus the strength to cling to the cross? We will find the strength to make it up the hill or solid footing on rough ground. It’s only there that we will have perfect clarity about God, others, and ourselves. We are set free to love and encourage others unconditionally and unselfishly, and forgive ourselves so that our heavenly Father can completely forgive us.
A few years back I wrote a blog about a bad month featuring a fabulous children's book.... "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." It's about this little dude who has the worst possible day evvveerrrrr. I'm pretty sure that we have all had "one of those days" where everything just seemed to come unglued and you basically would rather swallow ground glass than have to speak to anyone. I'm not writing this blog because I've had "one of those days." More so because I think children's books are pretty awesome and usually lend themselves to some very adult type wisdom. 