Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Antsy August

As a reward for my insane productivity today I am composing a second blog in one day.  I figure that while I have the chance and I can take an extra breath I might as well.

This afternoon I met with the Young Farmer & Rancher (YF&R) program team leader (Shon), the committee chairperson for the NCSU YF&R program, and the two university supervisors to discuss the upcoming schedule of events for our collegiate program.  Collegiate YF&R at NCSU, Mt. Olive College, and NC. A&T are "clubs" designed to tie young people back to agriculture, introduce them to bureau life, and are managed by the team that I serve on at work.  We had a lovely lunch but I must admit that I was distracted the entire time.  We were meeting at a little restaurant in Cameron Village near NCSU campus and with it being the first day of class all I could think about was how badly I wanted to at least walk through Ricks hall.  After lunch I walked over to my fave running store just to look around and then drove over to my favorite coffee shop to work but all I could think about was school.  To be honest I haven't thought much about school since May of 2011.  With the exception of keeping up with my grad school friends much of the research and coursework that I completed is hazy at best.  But today my heart longed to be working on a project or studying for some kind of exam.  I tried to remind myself how much I loathed moodle discussion posts and how much sleep I lost typing out 110 pages of seemingly pointless research, but nothing seemed to dull the ache.

I truly have no desire to go back into a teaching role but I've found myself pondering if there was some kind of course(s) or advanced certification or something I could get hooked into.  An advanced degree at this point in my career wouldn't do me much, if any, good.  While I am appreciative of my agricultural education roots I truly have no desire to pursue doctoral studies in that discipline.  I've thought long and hard about random things...like learning a second language...or becoming a registered parliamentarian.  Go on and laugh... I know it's lame but it's something I'm interested in!!!! I probably should try to get hooked into a church small group or bible study, but with my extremely odd work schedule I couldn't guarantee regular attendance except on certain nights / times.  I need a flexible learning environment.

I was telling someone the other day about how much I love a challenge.  Post-grad school my challenge / hobby became running and travelling for races.  This is still a challenge but now I'm seeking an interesting, intellectual challenge.  One that provides some brain stimuli with a side of socialization. Anybody have some suggestions?      

Built for comfort, not speed...

Skinny jeans versus sweat pants.  A Ferrari versus a mini van.  Ladies and gentlemen after Sunday's triathlon I have discovered that I am built for comfort and not speed.  I would love to tell you that I'm totally accepting of this new self realization but I would be lying to you and to my ego too.  Regardless of whether I'm in denial it's plainly obvious that my natural talents do not lie in the realm of athletics, but I am a darn fine encourage-er and cheerleader.  :) 

Run to the bike Katie Murray!
After the Smile Train triathlon in June I decided I was not going to wallow in annoyance with how frustrated and discouraged I felt in the water.  Just FYI everybody, I do have an ego and I'm guilty of the sin of pride... I decided it was time for me to get over my pride, be an adult, and yep...take a few swimming lessons.  My swim instructor is very encouraging and she actually spends the majority of her time with children so she totally gets my mentality also.  :) After several lessons and lots of practice, I felt ready for Sunday's "short" swim.  I signed up to go at the back of the pack again.  I had no desire to 1.) Embarrass myself... 2.) Hold someone else up because I swim slower than molasses rolling up hill... 3.) Did I mention embarrassing myself? The pool swims are seeded and with 400+ people I knew it would be awhile before my turn in the water.  I spent 30 minutes talking to a lady whose husband was a competitive swimmer but could not bike or run well.  She had wanted to do the triathlon with him but had reservations.  She told me what her fears were and I told her some of mine....it felt good to confess so close to crunch time.  I felt convinced when she left me that she would likely do a sprint triathlon in the next year.  I had a very similar experience when we did the Smile Train.  In the water I took on all 10 laps just trying to stay calm.  Some dude almost knocked me into a wall because he was going the wrong way in MY swim lane.  That's what I get for going at the back with all of the other people (like myself) who do not know what they're doing. 
My Em always says swim like a fish Lendy!


I'll be riding dirty.













Following the swim I had a rather uneventful bike ride.  The course was fairly hilly compared to the flat, smooth greenway that boo and I ride every week.  I passed a girl going up one of the hills and she yelled, "Go on...these hills are going to catch up with you!!" I made sure to wave at her as I passed her on my return back to the transition area.  I honestly couldn't help but laugh.  Neither one of us were setting the world on fire with fabulous speeds...Why be a jerk about it? 
Heather going out on the bike.
 
Number One "clean riding"

Back in the transition area for my run I totally ran by my bike rack and had almost made it to the other side of the area before I realized it.  I felt like a total goob turning around and almost taking people out as I ran back toward my assigned rack.  Smooth...real smooth.  

Again, the run was uneventful.  A guy that I followed on the bike ride...I called him yellow jersey....ran with me most of the way.  Yellow jersey made me think of the Tour de France so I joked the whole way that he should take the lead and run for a little bit while I drafted him.  I finally left yellow jersey and came up on a girl my age that had been walking ahead of us for awhile.  At the base of the hill before the finish I told her I was tired of running in wet socks and she responded back me too.  We ran together to the finish.  I could have out sprinted her at the end...I'm good at picking the pace up at the end... but I just cruised in behind her as her family and friends snapped pictures and cheered her on.  I made sure to smile although I'm hoping they photo shop me out.  I finished in 1 hour and 27 minutes.  Not too shabby for someone who hasn't been working at this for too awful long.    



The real story of the day was my boo and her magically getting seeded as the number 1 swimmer for the triathlon.  She inadvertently entered the correct swim time for the wrong distance.  She didn't lead the race but she still got to be number one for the day.  Number one ended up finishing 3rd overall in our age group which is an excellent accomplishment and I was so excited and proud to be her paparazzi for the day.  Like I said... I'm a much better cheerleader than an athlete.          
3rd overall in 25-29 GET IT
My number one boo haha :)









Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Taking it to the mattresses....

I have only heard the phrase, "Taking it to the mattresses," used in the 1990's Meg Ryan blockbuster (*sarcasm*) "You've Got Mail." Apparently it's a famous line from one of "The Godfather" movies and it references mafia members hiding somewhere other than at their house. I thought it could also be a great lead in to one of those little novels my mama used to take to the beach. Either way I just ripped it off because I've got an entertaining story and it happens to involve...you guessed it...a mattress.

For the past two days I've been taking one of my team members out into the district to meet with some very important volunteers. Yesterday we drove all over the northern counties and tomorrow we will finish up in the western counties. Today we both had various errands and tasks to complete so we drove separately most of the day. This afternoon we left Durham together and were both headed back to Raleigh on Interstate 85. Meg was right behind me because she's from down east and has no idea what's heads or tails in Durham and traffic was pretty intense. Right before our exit the large box truck directly in front of me slammed on brakes and before I really had time to get the words, "What the..." out of my mouth a full-sized mattress blew around the back of the truck and landed directly in front of me. Now, everything happened in a matter of 3 seconds but just like in those cheap made-for-TV movies time slowed down and I saw myself from the outside processing the situation. My options were to swerve left or right or hit the mattress. With two lanes of traffic on my left and two lanes of traffic on my right at 70 mph it could have / would have been extremely messy. My greatest fear period was that whether I hit it directly or just glanced it that the mattress would throw my truck into another lane of traffic or cause it to flip. Having only driven smaller cars my entire life I totally underestimate how tough and heavy my truck is. If by some luck I drove over the mattress with no issues then it would still likely be right in Meg's path. My options did not seem all that great.

I did what I thought to be the lesser of all the evils and made the decision to hit the mattress. I gripped the steering wheel, sped up a little, and slammed that mattress like a champion. Go big or go home people. I heard it busting all under my truck but the truck never swerved or even bounced really. After actually hitting the mattress my brain sort of began to slip into a haze of fear and relief that is until I heard the distinct sound of metal dragging behind the truck. First thought, the back passenger tire has busted. Everyone on I-85 immediately slowed to a crawl as I gradually took the lap of shame over to a sketchy median. I jumped out of the truck expecting to see my back tires slashed from the metal in the mattress but was quickly surprised to find the mattress was still wedged up under the truck.

Meg pulled in behind me, jumped out, and immediately began to laugh. She had watched everything happen from right behind me. After seeing that I was ok and had only gained a mattress landing gear, she was laughing at the craziness of our situation and at least a little out of relief. Still shaking...I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and I began to laugh too...I was alive, my truck wasn't damaged, and no one else got hurt in the process. Divine favor.

Traffic was whizzing by on either side of us as we tried to pull the twisted metal and stuffing out from under the truck. Meg and I were using all of our weight pulling and pushing with little result. I was debating whether to call the troopers. I've never had a good experience with a trooper so part of me almost just wanted to abandon the truck and just head home. A beat up black truck backed up the exit ramp toward us and this super kind man crawled under my truck and within a few minutes he was able to jerk the mattress out. He even loaded it on the back of his truck saying that he did not want someone else to have the same trouble. I really wanted to hug this guy. All he said before he jumped in his truck was, "There are still good people in the world."

I've been run down for the past week it seems ...my patience has been thin...my feelings have been hurt...the to do list seems never ending. After our little adventure I came home with the weight still on my shoulders, took a nap, and woke up with a song on my heart. We laughed at this story over supper but the fact that this could have a much more serious outcome is impossible to overlook no matter how much I don't want to dwell on it. I'm not afraid to die, but I'm not itching for death to overtake me or to cause harm to anyone intentional or not. It could have happened to anyone out on the road but today I was given a second chance to adjust my attitude and a reminder that there are still good caring people in this world regardless of the hurt others cause and that I need to try to pay that goodness forward. I stopped on the side of the road on the way home from supper and offered a poor runner my rain jacket in a downpour...She waved me off annoyed...I should have realized I was interrupting her pace and keeping her further from getting dry. Gold star for effort right?

Friday, August 9, 2013

Water Woosies

Today has been a less than stellar day...regardless I want to write about something positive, but hopefully not boastful. I need to go ahead and change my blog title to reflect something about running or being active. Several of my posts are about my attempts to become an athlete at age 28. Notice I said, “attempts." Who would read the running blog of a wannabe runner? I'm sure other poser runner people would understand.

In the past 2 weeks I have had 2 people ask me if I was a runner. My first reaction is to laugh...really hard... but somehow I manage to choke back and just smile and say, "Well...I try." Then there's this magical moment of me wondering what about me made them think I was a runner??? Dang do I look in shape?? Neh....

The first lady was a nurse at the allergist. She took my pulse and it was a whopping 46 beats per minute at 9am. She did a double take and quickly asked me if I was a runner. I told her I ran some and she seemed to relax. Apparently people that run are calmer and have lower pulse rates. It's likely because I only drank one cup of coffee that morning and I was technically still asleep. Or I was holding my breath in anticipation of all the needles I was about to be stuck with. Either way.

The second time was this morning when I went for a swim. My blog is my confessional...so here you go people... I am afraid of the water. Not so much of drowning or getting it in my ears or up my nose, but the fact that I struggle as a swimmer and I cannot take failure. I've been working on my swimming since the first triathlon in June. I went ahead and signed up for the second one in August despite my water woosies. Today I was swimming next to this beast of a lady who easily swam like 4 miles and made it look effortless. When I came up for air I just gawked at how easy she made it through the water. I did 35 minutes in the pool and then on my way out she stopped me. "You're a runner aren't you?" My jaw dropped. This crazy athletic woman recognized that I run...OMG!!!! My gold star for the day!! Then she politely informed me that most people that run point their toes down when they swim...big "no no" according to my swim instructor. Dayum.... Come to find out this lady is a certified triathlon coach, has done 3 Ironmans, and is on her way to doing a fourth. That's like 140 miles of swimming, biking, and running people. She confessed to me that her workouts were getting boring but her race was getting closer. She complemented my stroke and breathing...big surprise there... but the biggest thing that struck me was that she held no reservations in telling me that she was 36 when she started training. She also told me she had only been swimming for 8 years. For some odd reason...this gave me hope. I'd really appreciate some prayers over the next week for a strong finish...mainly that I just come out of the water.
       

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

How well do you know me?

Facebook didn't become a popular thing until I was almost out of college with my undergrad.  Yep... How's that for a confession? I remember filling out these ridiculous questionaires that people would post and then repost in an effort to get their friends to answer questions.  Sort of like playing one of those ridiculous "get-to-know-you" icebreakers at camp that always seemed annoying at the time but then you found out a lot about your friends that you may have not known.  Two weeks ago at my wife's bridal shower we played a goofy little game called, "How well do you know the bride?" This game was simply filling out a worksheet that asked questions about the bride like...What's the bride's favorite store? What's the bride's favorite color? Food? Movie? Book? What month did she meet the groom? Whose her favorite actor or band? What's her middle name? I know my wifey.  I shared an office with her for two years.  She used to love drinking cherry coke.  She likes hazelnut coffee creamer in her coffee, skittles, antique / rural decor, and minature hershey bars.  Beer of choice -- Coors light.  We both have a passion for bad 80's hair bands, country music, wearing sweaters, cowboy boots, Target, Paula Deen / southern cooking, and the Fall.  She loves the Steelers and the Penguins, plays piano, guitar, and some banjo.  She doesn't mind roughing it in order to get a beautiful view of a mountian or a creek.  Incredibly intelligent, sometimes blunt, but always affectionate and gives fabulous hugs. 

I thought this little question game was going to be a joke and a joke it definitely was not.  Seriously y'all I was so embarrassed at how few of those questions I could answer with definite certainty.  I knew where her and her fiance had met but it blanked me on what time of year it was...We listen to so much music I've never paid attention if she ever mentioned one band being the favorite over another.  Rough.... I also realized how I couldn't answer a lot of those questions for myself.  I've been doing some soul searching recently and as a part of that I figured out my answers to these trivia questions and committed my wifey's answers to memory.  :)

1. What's your middle name? Grayce

2. What was your first job? I completed a work study under my former high school ag teacher all 4 years of high school.  It's basically what led me to want to become an ag teacher.

3.  What's your favorite color? Green.... but I'm also partial to red.  :)

4.  What's your favorite restaurant? I haven't met too many that I don't care for but I really enjoy the Carolina Ale House.. followed closely by Firebirds.  I also love Mitch's near NCSU, Subway and Zaxby's. 

5.  What's yur fave store? Target

6.  Favorite band / singer? George Strait, but I also love some Brooks & Dunn, Moroon 5, and Hillsong United.  Gotta get my Jesus music on.

7.  Favorite song? There is no one favorite.  I have weekly favorites.  Neon Moon by Brooks & Dunn may be my fave of all time though.

8.  Favorite movie?  Love Actually but there are plenty of others I enjoy. 

9.  Books? Pride & Prejudice... the Harry Potter series... The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks...yeah I'm that girl.

10.  Favorite food? Rice... It goes with everything.  Home fried potatoes are a close, close second.

11.  What is your biggest pet peeve? People slurping their food.  Also when people feel like it's necessary to one-up other people they're talking to.  These same people tend to be loud and unnessarily demanding.  I apologize if I'm stereotyping here....      

12.  When did you meet your husband? We knew of each other since 2003-2004 but we didn't really get to know one another until 2006.  Married 6 years in a few days! :)

I think some of y'all might get a good chuckle at this. Feel free to copy and paste these, add on some foolish questions about your first boyfriends or whatever, and share on Facebook so your friends can take the quiz HA!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Part I: Clearing the air...

I posted a Facebook status in a moment of weakness speculating that I may be becoming less of a people person.  Coming from someone that most would consider to be very (if not overly) social, this must have been a total shock.  People came out of the woodwork to make comments or text me about my new hermit status when truthfully I was simply tired and then was rushed out of my hotel, standing outside amongst tense personalities while a fire alarm blared at 11pm on Friday night.  I wasn't feeling overly gracious or loving or funny at that moment.  Just wanted to inform everybody that I appreciate your concern but (maybe unfortunately) I'm still Lendy and I still love to socialize with all my peeps. 

I'm going to start this story off in good fairy tale fashion... Once upon a time there was a young girl working on her Masters degree.  Just like so many before her, the February before graduation she was beginning to panic about what she was going to do with her life once she reached the promised land (aka graduation) in May.  No more late night reading or writing B.S. responses to posts... She sat on her tuffet and pondered and pondered what to do.... She was going to receive a golden ticket that would allow her to go back into the classroom to teach students but unlike "Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory" the golden ticket didn't seem all that appealing and could have lead to some very difficult life altering decisions for her and her prince charming.

This story probably sounds similar or familiar to a lot of people coming out of college with a Bachelors or Masters degree.  You're coming to the close of a very important and fun phase of your life and you wait up until the very end to begin thinking about what's next.  In today's world many are faced with the same delimna that our young heroine was faced with... They have to make serious life changes like moving out of town or state to find a good job, or they realize that the occupation they're going into is not as attractive as it may have once appeared.  I'm here to tell you folks...things will work out.  You may not find your dream job or location immediately coming out but in their own time things will fall into place. 

This blog is devoted to skimming the surface of my post graduate school career adventure.  I wanted to post this information as background info to another blog I'm going to write about my recent weekend festivities in the mountains (stay tuned).  I'm not going to publish the name of my workplace in my blog for various reasons.  Those of you who read this and know me are already familiar with the bureau.  I wouldn't say that my current job is my "dream job," but it's pretty close to it.  It encompasses lots of things I dreamed my career would be like...no two days are the same, it's challenging, directly tied to agriculture, and relationship based.  In fact, I never imagined myself where I am right now... but in a good way.     

What do you do?

People ask me this all the time...and honestly I always feel so awkward and clumsy when I try to explain it.  I work for a non-profit, grassroots organization that specifically promotes agricultural awareness and works to protect the best interest of farmers in civic and legislative matters.  Within the company I am a field representative (aka field rep, aka field girl, sometimes wonder woman, newly called LJ, but will always be just Lendy) that covers 11 counties in the northern piedmont of NC (including my home county... CASWELL Woot Woot!!).  I think I mentioned in my first blog that my office is technically " the great white" (my chevy silverado) so many of my blogs and philosophical ramblings are composed while I'm staring over the dashboard driving.  One of my good friends asked me the other day how I chose my blog topics and honestly I write them in my head while I'm driving and sometimes when I'm running.  I don't find the topics...the topics tend to come find me.  :)  

Alright...so what does a field rep do?

Uh.... Well.... I work with farmers and office staff in my district to keep them informed and encourage them to act on important issues that impact the livelihoods of their operations.  Ok? I serve as the liaison between the state level organization and the local (county) level.  Ok? Basically, I am an informant, communicator, translator, event planner / coordinator, encourager, researcher, listener, scheduler, delivery girl, order taker, writer / editor, cook, speaker / presenter, salesperson, graphic designer, financial analysit, auditor, and above all else friend to all of my bureau family.  My roles change depending on the day, and there are definitely some times of the year that are busier than others.  There are days where I'm not sure what I'm doing, but for the most part I can't believe I earn a paycheck and get to do the amazing things I do.  I would seriously do what I do for free... our cause is worthy and the friendships I've made are a blessing (even when I'm tired and whiney).       

There you have it...A quick and probably incomplete snapshot of my day to day life as a big girl for the past 2.5 years.  I'm sure I've left something out.... I didn't give everybody the "textbook" job description.  It has been one of the most difficult, yet rewarding things I've ever done and hopefully it's far from being over.  

To be continued.....

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Poser Blog: If I could turn back time....

This morning I read an intriguing blog by one of my friends about what she would do differently if she could turn back time.  She mentioned the danger of looking back into the past... and rightfully so.  I've always been taught, "If we are constantly looking back at closed doors, how can we see the open ones that are ahead of us?" Yet and still there are lots of lessons that can be learned from past experiences to help move forward.

1.  If I could turn back time... I would visit my loved ones more often.  I know I'm not alone in wishing that I had spent more time with people that I loved that I can no longer be with.  I particularly think about my beloved grandparents and how I should have kept going home to see them instead of sleeping in on the weekend or staying in Raleigh because I had "better" things to do.  I'd appreciate the love and lessons learned from those that have either physically or emotionally distanced themselves from me.   

2.  If I could turn back time... I'd say what I mean and mean what I say.  Confession: I suck at being open about my feelings...particularly if they're awkward.  Awkward feelings could be anything ranging from hurt and anger to deep love and appreciation.  Oh yeah, I also suck at accepting compliments and / or criticism at times.  Rather than addressing an issue (some people would call this confrontation) I'm an avoider.  Rather than telling people how I feel about them I give gifts...tangible ones and sometimes sarcastic joking ones.  2 engagements and several close friendships... I've had more than one relationship end or grow cold because of my lack of verbalization and fear of vunerability.  Most people would say that those relationships needed to end or it was meant to be this way...which is both true and fine.  This is more of a reminder of something I'm trying to do better with in the future.

3.  If I could turn back time... I'd live in the present.  HA! Isn't this blog about reflecting on the past? Yes...yes it is and looking back I spent a lot of time hung up on the past or wishing that this phase of life would hurry up and move forward.  My teaching career clearly comes to mind.  While I was teaching it was a day to day survival game and I was constantly counting down days to first one break and then another.  Now I wish I could clearly picture the faces, and remember the hugs and jokes from some of the students I haven't kept up with.  Every day...every moment...good or bad is unique and serves a purpose...We're always moving forward, backward, or side to side toward who we are meant to become and what our greater purpose is.  How much better would those moments be if we spent them devoting our undivided attention to the here and now rather than wishing them away onto something else?  

4.  If I could turn back time... Well I would be more risky.  I would have taken some summer internships out of state and went on a few more wild trips like white water rafting or insect hunting or whatever.  

5.  If I could turn back time... I'd spend more time trying to look cute.  I'm with Kara on this one.  To this day I don't care to put on make-up or be super trendy but sometimes it's necessary and can be a good self esteem boost.  

6.  If I could turn back time... I would give 250% every day, all day, on everything.  There are so many things in my life that I completely half-assed and got away with...mainly in school.  I was satisfied with a low A or a B when if I had put in even an ounce of work I could have aced the paper or the project.  This little factoid has lead to some laziness and complacency on my part on more than one occassion.  My running and tri training are gradually teaching me some discipline and that constant work is necessary for any type of results / success.  

Ok so those are a few things I would change...What are some things I would keep the same?

1.  If I could turn back time... I'd keep my high school experiences the same.  I would still join the FFA, have the same set of friends, experience the same awkwardness...all of it.  They were tough yet fun times. 

2.  If I could turn back time... I would go to NC State and major in agrcultural education.  I'm not using my teaching license right now but many of the lessons learned and experiences had while going through undergrad taught me a lot about myself and set me on the path to where I am now and I'm sure where I will go in the future. 

3.  If I could turn back time... I would teach at Millbrook high school.  I grew up a lot in those 2.5 years and came to love a bunch of pretty special teenagers...who will always be teenagers to me. 

4.  If I could turn back time... I'd leave teaching and go back to grad school.  Teaching helped me to grow up but graduate school reminded me how important it is to have friends.  I didn't necessarily learn a whole lot from reading all of those research articles but my boo helped me discover my love affair with Jesus...my office wife taught me the value of tough love and loyalty... My office family taught me about how to be a part of a community.  It wasn't always pretty but I am so grateful for all of the relationships...individually and collectively...that came as a result of my big girl hiatus.     

5.  If I could turn back time... I would run for National FFA Office but I would not want the outcome to change.  The experience of going through the interview process was so incredible but I'm so glad I didn't get elected.  It would have potentially moved me out of the path of some other things that I have today that I'm so thankful for.

6.  If I could turn back time... I would still marry Michael Johnson.  Enough said...although I might would have eloped and went on an extended honeymoon hahahaha!