The Name Game

Today the elastic in my big girl panties broke and I decided to go public with the fact it frustrates me to no end when people do not take the time to understand that my name...however weird, unusual, or quirky it may be... is Lendy and that it is not ok when people do not take the time to call me that especially after I politely correct them multiple times.  WHEW! That was a mouthful.  First time offenders, fast food / Starbucks people that I never intend to see again...no harm no foul.  Everybody needs grace but when you are simply too lazy, too distracted, know me personally, have seen my name in print, or think that my name should be something other than what it is...the fact that you will not take the time to get my name right makes me feel disrespected.  My blood pressure hits the midway point which is high for my typical collected-ness.  The straw that broke the camel's back was this afternoon when I stopped in to check on a gift I ordered at a local store.  I had to complete an order form when I purchased it so my information was clearly on file.  The lady behind the counter asked for my name.  I politely , compliantly, and quietly (my public front) replied, "Lendy Johnson." After a few seconds she said, "I don't have a Wendy Johnson." Slight intake of breath..."It's Lendy.  L-e-n-d-y Johnson." Slight pause.  "I'm sorry ma'm I don't have Wendy or Lendy Johnson listed.  I do have Lindsay Johnson?" There are probably 1,000 Lindsay Johnson's in the greater Raleigh area but only 1 (maybe 2) Lendy's that I personally know of including myself.  Facepalm.  Sometimes my overactive imagination laughs at how I can get away with pretty much anything... I can just blame it on any one of my other identities Wendy, Lindsay, Linda, Leslie, Linday, Lyndee, Lindy, etc., etc.  Wendy and Lindsay are my go-to girl's when I want to be hateful.  Those are the names I get called the most.  God help the reputation of all you Wendy / Lindsay Johnsons out there. 

Ninety-five percent of the time I have difficulty dealing with the name game that I have played my entire life.  The other 5% offer some pretty entertaining stories.  I vividly remember coming home from vacation bible school at the age of 7 with a "Son" visor that we had glued little do-dads on during craft time.  Our teacher had wrote our names on the visors so we knew which one to take home.  She handed me my sun visor at the end of the day and while I recognized the fuzzy blue and yellow pom pom balls I had previously glued on I also noticed my name had changed to Linday.  I was so confused.  Was that my name now? Did she give me someone else's hat????  Where was my hat??? I was experiencing identity crisis / theft at age 7!! I still remember my Mama trying not to laugh as I cried about how my visor was lost or someone else took it after she explained that my name had not changed.  I refused to believe that my teacher had mispelled my name.   

My junior year of high school all of the cool kids were in the FFA and spent the majority of their time hanging out in the "ag department." My friends and I would eat lunch in the "ag office" or hang out in front of the building between classes.  Everyone knew everyone and as juniors we thought we were too cool for many of the freshmen who tried to come in and earn their spot on our turf.  There was a freshmen boy that always hung out after Agriscience class that got unmercifully picked on for not being the, "sharpest tool in the shed" but he did (does) have a kind heart.  One day he shyly admitted to one of my girlfriends that he had a big crush on a hot upper classman.  He said, "Uh well I think her name is Wendy... Wendy Beaman." I never lived that one down.  My friends got a riot out of this and so Wendy Beaman has messages written to her in my senior yearbook.  :)   

In the heat of my frustration I posted a status on Facebook announcing my hate of the name game.  I found out quickly that there are many of you that feel my pain.  Even people with seemingly "normal" names battle folks calling them pet names or nicknames that they never wanted.  There are people that go by abbreviated names or nick names that battle folks wanting to call them by their "formal" name.  I have to admit that I am the worst for giving people pet names.  My poor husband Mike has been permanently branded by most of my friends as "Mikey." I have a close friend I refer to as "boo." Another good friend I shared an office with is my "wifey" even though we are happily married, straight ladies.  I have several Jennifers that became Jenn's.  My dog's name is Bella but we call her "Pookie." At work there is Mac Daddy, Ms. Tripp, Meg, Shon, Real-lo... wow that makes us sound like a gang rather than a group of professionals.  If anyone out there that has been given a title they didn't like...please let it be made known.  There is no room for politeness on this issue.  I would hate to make anyone feel the consternation I feel when people don't get my name right.... and obviously others feel the same way. 

Here's a kernel of truth / my unsolicited advice on this issue...If you don't know how to pronounce a person's name or know what they want to be called...my suggestion would be to just ask.  It may feel awkward but most likely they'll appreciate it and you won't feel like an idiot when they correct you.  If you do mess up and get their name wrong, have the decency to pay attention (hard right?) and get their name right the next time.