I am a slow, methodical test taker. It literally took me forever to complete an essay test because I would outline and write every single detail I could think of, always rushing at the end and stressed that I would not finish in time. On days like today, I would go back and take 10 essay tests on the Assyrian empire or Henry David Thoreau every day just to know the right answer to one of life's many test questions. Example:
1. Part A. List every single task you need to be have completed. If you have not completed said tasks please state why.
Part B. Explain step by step how you to plan to accomplish each of these items without:
i. Making someone angry or hurt.
ii. Meeting and not exceeding any proposed deadlines.
iii. Completing task at a level that exceeds personal and public expectations.
2. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? What do you want to accomplish? List out how you plan to do it.
All the leadership training in the world didn't prepare me to give sincere answers to these questions. If you can't tell, I feel like I'm in the midst of a tough life essay test. For the past 2 weeks especially I've been puzzling through questions about my future, questioning things in my relationships with some of my closet friends, and struggling to list out things I need to be working on rather than procrastinating. It's caused some test anxiety... personal emotional conflicts of frustration, feeling very insecure, and lack of confidence, BUT I know I'm going to pass the test. Not because I studied hard or completed my assignments, but because my Teacher is divinely forgiving. That doesn't stop me from wanting to succeed. It does provide some motivation on days like today to keep studying and keep working when I feel lost and overwhelmed. I remember the look some of my students with learning disabilities had as they stared at their papers with no clue as to where to start. If anything, I'm so fortunate I've been given every opportunity to be great in all things, and capable of helping others be great even when I think my stock is running low.
I'm grateful for growth as I am learning how to maintain my focus on the main thing.
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." -- James 1:2-4
No comments:
Post a Comment