Afraid of the dark or embracing the dark?

Going for a midnight run in the neighborhood…alone… may not be one of the wisest decisions I’ve ever made. I could make the argument that the current 1,000,000,000 (make me second guess global warming) heat index causes me to run either before dawn or way after dark. Either way you can judge me like we so often judge those young dumb girls in horror movies that willingly go sit in the woods or enter creepy, abandoned houses knowing something terrible could happen to them. Let’s pick my story up with… I was coming down the home stretch and about to cool down when I noticed the man kneeling at the corner. He just happened to catch my eye and then my breath caught in my chest. There was a stranger standing between me and the front door. Mikey had long since gone to bed, and there was a man standing on the corner near my house. No gun, no phone, no light… I intentionally slowed my walk and was mentally kicking this dude’s ass when….

I realized my man was nothing more than the shadow of the tot lot fence across the street. Everybody laugh. Silly Lendy… get your eyes checked. Better yet quit running at ungodly hours of the day and night. I mentally released a huge sigh of relief, second guessed my sanity, and went inside for the night. Maybe my brain was high on endorphins, maybe it was late and fatigue was getting the best of me, maybe there was a steady river of sweat and salt burning my retinas and temporarily blindness had occurred..I’m grasping for dignity over here.

I’ve spent most of the day processing what happened last night. I’m safe, my run was good, but there was a lesson to be learned and shared from my 2 minute mental vacation and it’s related to being afraid of the dark, and the people or beings who only came out in the night and lived under your bed and in your closet (monsters). They were out to get you. At the tender age of 13 I was still sleeping under my pink My Little Pony comforter surrounded by dusty stuffed animals because of the things hiding in the dark that were out for my blood, my secret diary, and any chocolate I may have stashed in my nightstand.

Boogieman, werewolf, Jason, Freddie, resurrected pets, ghosts, aliens, possessed children playing in the corn…the common theme I associated with these childhood nightmares and fears was darkness. Fences become men, coats on racks becoming ghosts, the dog walking on the floor is a large tarantula crawling toward my toes. Our eyes physically cannot adjust and see what’s surrounding us, and suddenly our mind begins to race with what’s possibly going on in the area we cannot be certain of. Is someone or something near me? Will it hurt me? What am I going to do? Your body physically responds with adrenaline…heavy breathing, sweat, and you’re prepared to do what it takes to get away to a place of physical and emotional safety… Mama and Daddy’s bed or in my case the arms of my husband.

Darkness has a way of distorting our perceptions of reality. During my (relieved yet slightly embarrassed) walk to the house it crossed my mind how funny it is that adults cease to believe in entities like Dracula or werewolves (unless you’re from Caswell County and you’re my mother) but we so quickly embrace figurative darkness in our lives. Figurative darkness aka evil and sin. Dracula is figuratively a soul sucking job or a bad relationship that eats up time and resources, both of which we could be afraid of losing for various reasons. The Blob is an extra roll over the top of your skinny jeans that literally overwhelms you enough to make you eat another cookie versus go workout. Our adult monsters involve fear of failure, shame, guilt, stress, feeling overwhelmed, loss, unresolved anger, passive behavior, grudges, grief, among other things.

Recently I discovered I had become comfortable allowing these monsters to live in the closet of my heart. I tell my boo frequently sometimes sin and fear feel comfortable versus facing the truth about our past, who we are, and who we’re around. We affectionately call it sitting in the cup de sac of stupidity.

Our hearts shouldn’t be closed up closets, and we shouldn’t embrace the dark entities in our hearts any more than a child would hug the Boogieman. When a kid is scared they will often call for or seek out help and security.

•  “…call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” Psalm 50:15 
•  “I call upon the name of the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:3 
•  “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of their trouble.” Psalm 34:17 
•  “Call to Me and I will answer You, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3 (My granma’s fave verse) 
•  “And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Acts 2:21 
• “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 
• “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16 

Lights may be turned on to show what’s really going on in the dark.

•  Psalms 119:105 : Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.
• 

John 8:12 : Then spoke Jesus again to them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. 

• John 12:35 : Then Jesus said to them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness come on you: for he that walks in darkness knows not where he goes.


• James 1:17 : Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no fickleness, neither shadow of turning. 

• 1 Peter 2:9 : But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light; 

• 1 John 1:7: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleans us from all sin. 

When we bring what is dark into light, we feel safe and protected and we know the truth.

“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him.” Nahum 1:7 

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” Psalm 62:5-8 

“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints…” Ephesians 6:13-18

Moral of the story: Share Your burdens with the Lord and the people you love.   Refuse to embrace darkness.  And don't run outside around midnight unarmed.