To the Baby Girls Part 2

Dear Baby Girls,

This letter is not addressed to your sisters from Panera Bread that I bumped into a few years ago.  I hope they have graduated on to bigger and better things including big girl jobs, big girl beds, and have traded out bathtub vodka for Pierre.  

I'm writing to the ones of you who are out there quietly trying to survive the grind without drowning yourself in some kind of indulgences -- i.e. boys, drugs, and drinks.  

I'd specifically like to speak to those of you who are hiding behind a wall.  A large, beautiful stone emotional wall.  

You don't put yourself out there so you frequently feel as if you go unnoticed.  You may or may not think you're beautiful, intelligent, creative, crafty, funny, or (fill-in-the-blank) ENOUGH to be noticed.  If you don't have those thoughts at least once a week we gonna need to talk because I think all normal women have that programmed in genetically.  

We love to look at one another and those flat girls in magazines.  We then compare our image of ourselves on our absolute fattest, dirtiest, I don't even want to put on a bra kind of days to those painted and primed girls who seem to always have it going on.  I'll say this, comparison is the thief of all joy sister.  

Yep.  

I bet if those phantom beauties could talk they would tell you they have days where they hate make-up, bras, and boys too.  I bet they have screamed in frustration when a paper towel roll unraveled in their kitchen or went into the pantry for some Cheez Its and the box was in there on the shelf...completely empty.  I'm not a betting women, but I'm willing to go a step further and say they probably have at least mentally ate a whole pint of ice cream on a bad day.  

Just saying.

We all have our finer moments screaming in the pantry.  You though.  You have these moments but feel like you shouldn't let it out.  You're in the midst of inner turmoils.  You're trying to figure out this tangled thing called life.  You're dealing with good and bad relationships with boys, girls, dogs, and anything else that holds the breath of life...including yourself.  You spend your days smiling and your nights crying.  Bless your heart baby girls.

You're scared to show others the underside of your armor.  You validate it by saying no one cares because you're not (fill-in-the-blank) ENOUGH anyway.  You think your interests, thoughts, and struggles are scary because they don't match up to this glittering perception in your mind of what they should be.  

For this one time, glitter is not your friend.  Don't follow the glittery signs.  The signs contain lying thoughts streaming over and over constantly leading you into deeper and deeper isolation.  All of the sudden you relinquish your power and they are stealing whatever joy, comfort, and security you feel in your natural talents and especially in blossoming relationships.  The anxiety, self-loathing, and fear cast you into so much darkness you can't see (believe) the subtle cardboard signs held by the people that love you that say you are ENOUGH.  

Take it from someone who recently knocked down the wall like it was the Berlin wall in the 80's.  Oh...you don't remember that.  Well how about from someone who knocked down the wall like Miley Cyrus did in "Wrecking Ball?" ..... 

You don't have to fight the fight behind your stone wall alone.  I'm sure inside that wall is a secret garden.  If God's the Gardner the flower beds and plants will not be perfectly laid out, but the colors are vivid just like your personality.  The air smells like fresh soil because the ground is being broken and you're a work in progress.  There are seeds being planted and fruit taking form.  Don't be afraid to  let the people the Lord sends into your life to help pick up a shovel or rake and help with the heavy lifting.

I'll bring the skid steer and some Cheez It's.    

Bless your heart sweet girls,

Lendy   

Letters from Lendy -- Baby Girls

Dear young college girls behind me in line at Panera Bread:

The fake valley girl accent you're using was old in 1998.  You're in college... "adorbs" is not a word.  How drunk you were last night and how you were sleeping in a bathtub this morning is not funny at all.  The very sound of your high pitch laughter, too short / tight clothing, and total lack of self respect makes me cringe, feel annoyed, and worried about you all at once.

Maybe I haven't had enough coffee this morning, or maybe if you could hear my thoughts you'd say that girl is just a jealous hater.  I mean look at me.  Rolling in with my hair pulled up, no make-up, old yellow shorts, camo crocks, and a t-shirt.  This has always been me.  Awkward and country while you slept in a tub full of vodka but are made-up and rocking jacks and juicy couture straight from the page of Cosmo.  Part of me wishes that I could have been more "put together" like you but definitely not enough to change at this point.

Take it from your 30 year old sister, you may always enjoy / like the finer things in life but at some point those tubs will become too hard to sleep in.  The booze will cause you to feel worse than any of the problems you had before you started drinking.  You'll realize that true love doesn't happen overnight, and boys in bars don't necessarily make good daddies and husbands.  People will respect and take you seriously if you can carry on a conversation without using weird slang every two seconds.  This will be important as you look for jobs and determine what you want to be when you grow up.  2 out of 3 of you will not find a permanent paid "MRS" position while you're in school.  Instead of talking bad about your girlfriends while they're in the bathroom, learn how to have each others' back and love them well, because true friends are hard to come by and even harder to keep.

I sincerely wish you well on your journey.  The social drama may seem super important and consuming now but paying bills, working 40 hours per week, maintaining good relationships, and being a big girl will make all these things seem like fun.  Figure out who you are, have fun, but be safe.  I'm praying for you.

Now move over so I can get my hazelnut coffee and tell me where did you find that cute Louis V clutch?

Bless your heart baby girls,

Lendy